How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Randomize
