I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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