I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
