At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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