someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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