It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
