Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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