oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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