My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
