There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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