Me. At least after what I've been through.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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