this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Houston, we have a blender
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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