i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
