I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
