Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
