I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize