It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
the raccoons are back...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
