Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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