White coat. Heels.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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