So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
