What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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