i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
