we have officially lost it.
i don't like sucking hair
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
