Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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