all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
