someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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