Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Your cock deserves a montage
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Randomize
