we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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