if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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