come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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