I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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