i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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