Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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