ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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