That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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