I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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