He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
