We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.