Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
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I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
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It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?