Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(518): View more from New York

i just had sex bonerless

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(518): i just had sex bonerless http://tfl.nu/7rsn

Replies (84) Good night (1499) Bad night (11998) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(831): View more from California

Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777

(323): View more from California

Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)

(831): View more from California

Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(831): Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777 (323): Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;) (831): Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up. http://tfl.nu/bykg

Replies (19) Good night (1959) Bad night (572)
Favorite
(519): View more from Ontario

Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(519): Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil. http://tfl.nu/3ein

Replies (68) Good night (11928) Bad night (843) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(561): View more from Florida

my being single is dangerous.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(561): my being single is dangerous. http://tfl.nu/5ief

Replies (24) Good night (4910) Bad night (706) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(360): View more from Washington

my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(360): my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it http://tfl.nu/8lil

Replies (12) Good night (4655) Bad night (820) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(850): View more from Florida

I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(850): I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night. http://tfl.nu/vbgm

Replies (10) Good night (4665) Bad night (1229) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(757): View more from Virginia

He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(757): He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds. http://tfl.nu/ihy8

Replies (41) Good night (2796) Bad night (4618) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(318): View more from Louisiana

my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(318): my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes. http://tfl.nu/jzo6

Replies (6) Good night (4311) Bad night (954)
Favorite
(573): View more from Missouri

My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(573): My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid http://tfl.nu/x6gk

Replies (7) Good night (976) Bad night (2813) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(617): View more from Massachusetts

All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(617): All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you. http://tfl.nu/zb33

Replies (3) Good night (681) Bad night (1808)
Favorite
(205): View more from Alabama

After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(205): After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis. http://tfl.nu/x2c8

Replies (4) Good night (1901) Bad night (411)
Favorite
(707): View more from California

Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(707): Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires. http://tfl.nu/p299

Replies (8) Good night (1275) Bad night (418)
Favorite
(615): View more from Tennessee

I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(615): I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza. http://tfl.nu/b1m9

Replies (0) Good night (743) Bad night (479) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(903): View more from Texas

Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(903): Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts. http://tfl.nu/fdo3

Replies (8) Good night (1261) Bad night (547)
Favorite
(615): View more from Tennessee

I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(615): I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake. http://tfl.nu/9fke

Replies (1) Good night (736) Bad night (166) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: