he looks like a really good dad on facebook
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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