I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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