I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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