My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
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i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
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I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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