That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
