I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
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That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
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And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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