i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
