i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
