Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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