I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
