It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm passing your future prison.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize