the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
