once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
